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Submitted on
November 25, 2008
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:BxL: Twilight Theft by MissusPatches :BxL: Twilight Theft by MissusPatches
Leeler(that's what I'm a-callin' it) is one of my favourite pairings in the Futurama fandom. The first I liked when I started watchin a couple years ago, before I wandered away from the fandom and then returned to be immediately immersed in other crazy pairings. Heh, I dunno, I guess there's just something about the way these two interact that I like... it's cute. :heart: x) They'd also have a lot to work out between each other and you have to admit, it'd be pretty amusing to watch!

So yeah. This was actually just going to be a scribble on the side, but then, like a lot of the stuff in my gallery, it became more. SO much more. :o

I realized that I liked the idea of this pic a lot, so I starting writing a drabble to stick with it. Well, that drabble grew a mind of it's own and turned into that moderately long fic you see below. Geez, huh? XD

Enjoy~! 8)

(also, watch out for a cameo, Dr. Horrible fans XD)

-Leela POV-

Leela sighed and turned into the parking lot of Planet Express- another night, another failed date that left her feeling crummy.

Really. She had no idea what had possessed her to say ‘yes’ to this particular man. Sure, he’d had dashing good looks(short, brown windswept hair and a charming smile), admirable strength(he’d stopped a car so she could walk across the street without waiting for a red light), and, above all, didn’t seem to mind that she had one eye.

But he was also rude, self-centered(in a Zapp-like way - a thought that made her shudder), and didn’t bother to dress up in the least even though he’d offered to take her out to Elzar’s Fine Cuisine, the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town.

Honestly, Leela could have let that part slide(however much it disappointed her that he didn’t seem to think she was important enough to even attempt to impress), but from the moment they’d started to small talk, she knew it wasn’t going to work. He didn’t seem much interested in what she had to say – he kept glancing at women at other tables, answering her with blank nods accompanied with fake smiles, and when he’d finally focused on the conversation, he’d started rambling on about himself and making references to his old girlfriend(Penny or something like that).

She would’ve stuck it out just for the food, if it weren’t for the thin man wearing goggles and a red lab coat who pointed a black gloved finger at their table and demanded some Captain person to fight him. Her date(whom, thinking about it now, she hadn’t even known the name of) immediately rose to his challenge and they started battling then and there in the restaurant.

Leela was left back at the table, forgotten.

Needless to say, she’d had enough and promptly left the bizarre scene of her date chucking tables at a lunatic armed with a death ray to which Elzar was waving his four arms and shouting furiously, guests scattering without finishing their meals or paying their bills.

Well, it was still early and rather than go back to her apartment to mope alone, she’d headed to the Planet Express building instead, hoping to find a distraction. She welcomed anything that wasn’t eating a gallon of ice cream and reading ‘True Stories of Courageous Animals’ for the umpteenth time.

Sliding her pass-card through the machine that operated the door, Leela stepped into the lobby and squinted. It was dark and except for the soft hooting of a few owls, it was silent. ‘The Professor must’ve gone to bed early...,’ the cyclops decided, taking the elevator up to the employee lounge.

The moment she entered the room, she felt slightly disappointed for the second time that night. No one was around– the lights were all off, the forms of the couch and tv barely legible in the gloom(the street lamps near the windows were broken).

One of the reasons she’d come to the building at all was because of Fry– he’d normally jump at a chance to comfort her(and oftentimes, she had felt better after a chat with him– a friendly chat, she stressed), but she doubted any of her fellow employees would want to work the double-shift on a Friday night. Especially her orange-haired, 21st Century-born friend; he was probably out gallivanting at some bar with Bender. Ah well. So much for distraction!

Leela tried to cheer herself up with the thought of nabbing some food from the employee refrigerator(she could probably get revenge on Zoidberg for all the times he’d stolen her lunch - oh wait: he never had food in there...). However, the scene in the restaurant conveniently flashed back into her mind and she suddenly didn’t feel hungry anymore. What she wouldn’t do for a good beer– or six.

She was crossing the lounge to settle on the couch in front of the television when she stumbled on something and nearly lost her footing. Swearing, she steadied herself on her high heels and straightened her long, maroon dress; she’d bought the outfit especially for the occasion of earlier that evening... Leela frowned and decided not to dwell on the unpleasant thought, opting instead to focus on figuring out what had tripped her.

Before she could turn around, she heard rather than saw the answer in the form of a few snores and a low mumble behind her:

“...kill all.. humans... must kill... all humans...”

Bender! The bot in question was slumped against the wall between the couch and the door, his visor lowered down over his eyes. He seemed to be in ‘stand-by mode’, if that was what constituted as ‘sleep’ for a robot.

‘What’s he doing here?’ The cyclops wondered for a moment, then rolled her eye– Men! Human or manbot, they were all the same. They could sleep anywhere if they felt like it. She remembered how Fry used to bum it out on the meeting table before he’d moved in with Bender(which was annoying, because he’d always wake up late for work!). Really.

Well, might as well just leave him there and- hold on. Bender stored beer in his chest cavity, didn’t he? Sure enough, when Leela grabbed the small knob and pulled the little door open, she could see a number of good-sized bottles inside. Jackpot!

He wouldn’t notice if she took one, would he? Well, he would, but that didn’t matter - he’d never suspect her anyway... right?

Sneaking a glance to make sure that her actions weren’t waking him, she slipped a bottle out; the contents made a light sloshing noise inside the transparent glass. She paused and then took a couple more for good measure.

‘Hah! It’d do well for him to have a taste of his own medicine for a change!’ Leela thought with satisfaction, taking care to gently shut the door of his compartment before tiptoe-ing over to the couch and flopping herself unceremoniously down upon its coarse cushions. She grasped the remote and clicked the television on.

‘I better watch the volume...’ She stole a peek over at Bender’s slumbering form, a guilty look briefly crossing over her features. She shrugged it off and adjusted the volume, popping open the first beer. An episode of Hypnotoad was on.

‘Good. Some mind-numbing media reruns should take my mind off of– ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD...’

-Some Time Later-

Leela was either too drunk or too deeply hypnotized to know how much time had passed– she was roused from her groggy stupor when she finally realized that her hand was grabbing uselessly for a bottle that wasn’t there. She sighed and smelled the alcohol on her breath. Time to go home...

She woozily rose from her seat and immediately had to grab onto the couch’s armrest for support. Her purple ponytail swept from side to side as she shook her head in an attempt to clear it. A futile attempt.

Well, her apartment wasn’t that far away... she could make it as long as she was careful... this part of town wasn’t populated this late on a week night. Wait, what day was it again...?

And where was that light coming from? Oh. The tv. She’d left it on. Crud.

Leela nearly toppled over when she reached for the remote on the couch, her legs were so wobbly. She was relieved when the set finally clicked off.

‘Home...,’ Was the only foggy thought she could process... somewhere far away the sensible side of her was vaguely wondering how she was going to handle driving a car in this condition.

Huh. Bender was still lying there. Full of beer. A wonder he hadn’t woken up and left already.
But the beer part. That’s what Leela was interested in.

Crouching(more like collapsing) down, she went for the small knob again and clumsily accessed the compartment. Some noisy shuffling rewarded her with what she desired.

‘Just... one more...’

Without shutting the door, the tipsy cyclops began to fumble with the cap of the beer. Her ministrations didn’t help her balance. Before long, she found herself sprawled fully on the floor next to Bender.

Whose signs of stirring and reawakening to consciousness went unnoticed as the top finally gave way.

-Bender POV-

Ah, what a rejuvenating nap that’d been! Without pulling his visor up, Bender yawned widely, stretching his arms luxuriously as if he’d just slept in a five star hotel. He made to scratch his front.

Clink. Hm ? His hand had just collided with his door– it was open! Someone had been in his special compartment!

He’d been meaning to get a lock for that thing!

Who would be foolish enough to steal from him though? It was probably Zoidberg. He wouldn’t put it past that crab to pull something like this!

Wait. That sounded like someone gulping down a bottle of beer– his beer!

The thief was still there; he’d caught them in the act! Him! The Great Bender– everyone’s most favourite, lovable kleptomaniac!

Well, time for justice to be served–

“A-ha! Caught you red handed– er, clawed, jerkwad! Can’t a robot take a nap around here with some scummy alien freak looking through his– Leela?”

Her head had been tipped back, ready to take another swig of beer, the bottle held loosely by the fingertips of her left hand, supporting herself with her right. For a millisecond, her single eye had met his glowing yellow ones: she’d given him a dazed, sort of shy look he’d never received from her before accompanied by a bashful, lopsided grin, purple hair framing her flushed face.

But at his words, the female cyclops jumped – startled – and dropped the bottle. Shards of glass scattered across the floor, liquid following close behind.

Almost immediately, she’d begun to sob.
“Geez, Leela...”

Why was she crying? Those insults hadn’t been tailored to her and even if they were, she wouldn’t react this strongly. Not unless she were already upset from something else...

“Did Nibbler get flushed down the toilet again? It wasn’t me - I swear!”

No reaction, just more weeping. Damn. He’d seen her upset before, but this was just...

Bender was surprised to find his usual indifference spotted with guilt. It was like the time that chip had been installed in him so that he could feel Leela’s emotions, except he wasn’t PMSing and there was no chip. Odd.

Anyways, her relentless bawling was starting to get to him. Chances were he couldn’t ask her to politely shut her noise hole, because that might make her even more upset... He’d have to find a different way.

What did humans do to shut each other up again?

The robot ran through his memory database:
‘Blackmailing, boozing, cooking, folk-singing, pirating, robbing, smoking, stealing, swiping, – ah! Humans, a.k.a chumps...’

Bender briefly ran through his recordings– mostly Fry doing stupid human things like playing the lotto or trying to lick his elbow, but instead succeeding in falling down a flight of stairs. He chuckled. Good times.

Besides that, there were a lot of clips of meatbags treating each other intimately, kissing... why did he have those again? Oh yeah– he’d been meaning to make those clips into a DVD he could sell on the black market!

But back to the problem at hand.

‘Well, it looks like there’s no other way...’ Bender knew what he had to do. Leela’s back to was him - that would have to be corrected if he was going to do this. Resting a cold, metallic hand on her warm, soft human shoulder, he turned her around so she faced him.

She looked pretty awful– her eye was pink and swollen with tears, her make up smeared. She was wearing the most flattering attire, though: a sleeveless maroon dress with a neckline that dipped low (not Amy low, though), showing a generous, yet modest amount of cleavage, and a necklace of green pearls accompanied by gold earrings that looked good enough to steal– they winked and glinted as they caught the artificial light from his eyes. Her hair was still in its usual ponytail, but she looked stunning nonetheless. If Bender were human, he would’ve gulped.

At his actions, her cries seemed to die down a little, fading into whimpers and hiccups as she eyed him blearily.

‘She’s drunk...,’ he realized.

Uh oh. It looked like she was going to start up again!

Clonk! The tipsy human slumped against Bender’s solid, metal body, unconscious.

“That should do it!” Satisfied, the manbot put the bottle back into his compartment and shut the door, wiping his hands together as if to clean off nonexistent dust, “A job well done.”

Leela’s head lolled a little and he was suddenly aware of the fact that he had the out-cold body of his human friend to deal with now. And judging from the snores she was emitting, she wouldn’t be up for a while.

‘Aw, jeez...’

Bender stood up. Grasping her slim waist, the robot slung the cyclops’ snoozing form over his shoulder and clanked his way to the elevator. She owed him big time for this! Well, except for the part where he knocked her out with a beer bottle, but she wouldn’t remember that. Probably.

The streets were dark when the front door of Planet Express slid shut behind him. How late was it anyway? It was then that the thought occurred to him that he didn’t actually know where Leela lived.

“Great.” Bender grumbled, shifting her body on his shoulder. She was starting to feel heavy.

Well, nothing left to do but take her back to Robot Arms. Fry would probably have an extra sleeping bag or something... humans kept weird stuff like that. Point was, he wouldn’t object to letting Leela use one– and hopefully, he’d be asleep already so he wouldn’t ask any questions. Bender found he wasn’t in the mood to deal with what would almost certainly be some awkward inquiries from his meatbag pet- er, friend.

But he’d worry about that later. Right now he was faced with the arduous task of lugging his drunk friend’s (slightly distracting, curvaceous) body back to his apartment.

“Bender...” The cyclops breathed sleepily, somewhere near his head.

It was going to be a long walk.


...well that wasn't too bad, was it? 8D Hahaha.

None of them belong to me.
Add a Comment:
Lilly-Pastamonsters Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I can't say it in any other words...

madhattress1314 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2012
I read this on! It was awesome!
R2MICH2 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my god I read this on Fanfiction! Wow! 8D
VAPX007 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2011
Love love! This is awesome!
Agentwill65 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Canterellare Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2011
Cute story! I love it! And the look on Bender's face in your picture is priceless! Good job! <3

<adds to favs>
Thelittlefairy95 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2011
Ohhhhh...:O Nice, I have never thought about Bender x Leela...
Very good!!!
MissusPatches Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2011
hehe it was my first pairing for the show x)
Thelittlefairy95 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2011

In the start I believed in Fry\Amy, but I knew it would end soon.

However it seems a nice couple...
MissusPatches Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2011
Yeaah hehe I guess I was instantly grabbed by the possibility of an 'opposites attract' pairing x) I loove those~

At least, similar to Bender/Amy, Fry/Amy was fun for the ep, eh?
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